Colleagues,
This week we focus on being a more intentional leader. 6. Striving for perfection is a sign of arrogance Yes, admit it, this one probably gets your hackles up. Part of leadership is holding yourself (and others) to high standards. It is good to know what the perfect version of something should look like, but it is not worth investing in it. To think you could do something perfectly is itself an arrogant notion. You are only mortal. In the striving for perfection, what are you leaving undone? I used to only be willing to send out “perfect” emails. So, if I didn’t have time to do more than dash off a quick response, or if I didn’t have the schedule, the worksheet, the letter, whatever it was, in “perfect” shape, I would hold it until I could get it “perfect.” The result was that I never finished them and instead of having something good enough from me, people got nothing. Perfectly nothing. The perfect is the enemy of the good (paraphrase from Voltaire), so get over it and cut yourself some slack. You aren’t perfect. Intention: Process the emotions you had while reading this message. If you felt resistance, interrogate why. Cheers! Frederick
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Colleagues,
5. True caring is about you, not me I used to try and help people by getting them to think like me. Why? I guess I thought I had all the answers. The problem with this form of “caring” is that my agenda drove the interactions and I only created space for people to grow in the direction I wanted them to grow. In the spring of 2004, I read Milton Mayeroff’s short book On Caring and it changed my leadership forever. Myeroff stated that if I really cared about someone, then I would take the time to know and understand them and support them in the direction they determined they needed to go. This was a profound shift. My actions became more about the other person, and less about me. Leading is not taking people in a direction, it is providing the support to help them grow in the direction that they need. Intention: Think about your own growth. Do you know the direction in which you need to grow? Is there any reason to think other people can’t figure out how they need to grow? Cheers! Frederick Colleagues,
4. Seek to add value As I have grown my business, I have realized that an essential approach is to create value for people. I have become somewhat obsessed with it. Whether it is a training, an email, a video, a podcast, or a dinner with a friend, my goal is always to add value – to give something away that the person or people I’m with will leave richer and feeling better than before our interaction. This isn’t as hard as it seems. The simple act of being 100% present is often valuable enough. Asking good questions and listening to the answer also gets the job done. However, there are times I need to take – I need someone to add value to me. I have a few people that I can count on for that, but I don’t know if I could consistently give to others without those few people who consistently give to me. Maybe there is another lesson there? Intention: In each interaction today, provide value to others, and don’t underestimate the value of being fully present. Cheers! Frederick Colleagues,
3. LISTEN and ask the right question If you embrace numbers one and two, this starts to get easier because you’ve begun to realize that it really isn’t about you. As you grow in respecting and desiring to serve others, you begin to actually listen to them. Listening is how you find what they need. As powerful as listening is, learning how to ask the right question can be transformative. People need to sort things out for themselves, but you can ask the question that helps them look at something a bit differently and gain new insight. Intention: Try this. Try listening without thinking about how you will respond. Just listen. Cheers! Frederick Colleagues,
2. Everyone is doing the best they can, and your job is to help them do better This builds on number one. Again, it is not our position to judge. When I was younger (not that long ago), I thought the world would be so much better if everyone thought just like me, so I bent my leadership skills towards trying to make people be like me. Thankfully, I had an incredible mentor who helped me to see my own arrogance, and to begin to understand what servant leadership was. Real leaders honor others by supporting them in their own journeys, not by trying to take others on the leader’s journey. Intention: Pay attention to where people are now, not where they were, or where you want them to be. Cheers! Frederick |
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